If someone asked someone else what family was, that person would probably answer: the father, the mother, and their children (adopted or not). Or two mothers and their children, or two fathers and their children. This is what is called the “nuclear family”. “Extensive family” would include aunts, uncles, cousins, godparents, grandparents, maybe even family friends. If that someone wanted to go even further, he or she could talk about the “distant family”, which are second cousins, third cousins, great uncles, great aunts, and the like. People that you probably never met in your life.

The historian James Casey wrote the book “The History of the Family”, published in 1989, advancing the studies of Friedrich Engels, whose book “The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State” was published in 1884. These studies were developed from different perspectives: while James Casey aimed to write the history of what is considered “family”, Friedrich Engels aimed to explain how the State came to be, as a result of an evolution of the primitive blood-related organizations.

James Casey began his book by defining what “family” actually is. His conclusion was: there is no clear definition. Etymologically, “family” comes from the Latin word familia, that used to mean the assets of a household: the man, the woman (each one with their own role) and everyone else who lived in that house, including the slaves. It was more like an enterprise than a “nuclear family” as we understand it today. Yet, this was not the first kind of family that existed. Primitive peoples had complicated structures that included all blood-related members under the same tribe or clan, although it was possible to “adopt” some outsiders.

There are a few traits we still keep from those primitive times, like loyalty towards our blood relatives. Back then, being part of a tribe or a clan would imply the duty to avenge a member who was attacked or killed by a member of another tribe. This is still important in some “tribes”, especially families, but also groups of friends acting as alternative families. Bloodline would also determine each person’s place in society and it is still very influential today, especially in some cultures or in certain circles.

These primitive peoples were matriarchies, meaning that bloodlines were defined by mothers. However, children were raised by the community. According to Engels, this changed when men became the owners of the agricultural equipment, which they wished to pass on to their children (in other words, heritage). This became even more important as men acquired more property. So, men decided that bloodline would stop being defined by mothers and became defined by fathers. To ensure that children born to their wives were theirs, women became their property, together with houses, equipment, slaves, and servants. Hence, the familia.

Engels proved that society was structured by the way families would relate between themselves and would exercise power socially and politically. In the feudal regime, each family would belong to a caste (the main castes were nobility and commoners) and their hierarchy would depend on their possessions. The concept of family as we know today (the nuclear family) is a product of the changes that took place from the 17th century onwards (during the Industrial Revolution) with the decline of the feudal regime. The private sphere detached from the public sphere and children started to go to school in order to become professionals. From an early age, children would learn about individual responsibilities and would acquire the skills to compete with others for a job and a position in society. By losing their central role, “extensive families” lost their power to influence social and political matters. As the individual became the social unit, his “family” became smaller: only his wife and their children, living in a domestic home. However, some things did not change: men remained the heads of the household.

Under this new society structure, people could marry whoever they wanted and were not obliged to have their parents’ consent (due to heritage purposes). Love turned into the main reason for marriage and divorce started to rise. Individuals were liberated from the bonds and duties of belonging to blood-related communities, but they also lost their benefits. For example, raising children is now the sole responsibility of parents when it was a community task. Social life was more spontaneous because the houses were open to everyone and several nuclear families lived in each house. Today, individuals are more alone and with more responsibility on their shoulders.

Yet, the concept of family is changing again. Men are losing their permanent position as heads of the household. Domestic roles are shifting and both adults are taking on equally household chores and raising the children. As divorces increase, people create new nuclear families that cross over with the nuclear families previously created. Grandparents are living longer, but they keep their independent lives after retirement. On the other hand, professional careers are getting more demanding, the internet is leading to isolation, and people are feeling lost. How will families adapt to these new times?