Tag: best friends

A book about consequences: “The Secret History”, by Donna Tartt

“The Secret Story” is a story about a murder. We learn that right in the first sentence of the book, so no surprises there. What we are going to discover throughout the book is what led to that murder and the consequences it had in the lives of those involved. Strongly based on Greek tragedies, the story is a tragedy of modern times.

It starts very innocently, when a young man is looking for a way out of what he considers his wretched life. By chance, as it was fate, he finds the brochure of a small and unknown university on the other side of the country. After earning a grant, he moves with the intention to never return again. Once there, he tries to enrol in a Greek class, to continue his previous studies. The problem is that the only Greek professor in the university takes very few students per year and registrations are already closed. Later though, almost as by change (or fate), he has an opportunity to be accepted, and he succeeds.

The class group is very restricted and soon they become very close and isolated from everyone else at the university. Yet, two elements of the group are going to be excluded from certain activities developed by the others. Such activities have dreadful consequences and those consequences lead to other consequences that lead to the decision of murdering one of them. The murder is planned for a long time and executed in a few seconds. After it is done, they live in peace with what they did for a while. When their Greek professor and some other students notice the murdered person is missing, the killers are asked if they know what happened to the missing person. Police are called and it becomes harder and harder for the murderers to deal with the secret they carry. In the end, each one follows their own path, quite different from the one they were supposed to follow. None of them really recovers from that murder.

 

QUIZ

1. Where did Richard spend his first Christmas holidays in the university?

    A. He accepted the invitation of one of his colleagues to spend it with their family.
    B. He went back home, spending it with his parents, because he didn’t have any other choice.
    C. He stayed in a room with no heating and with a hole in the roof, almost dying with a pneumonia.

2. What other options did they consider before deciding to kill Bunny?

    A. None.
    B. They thought of going to the police and confessing, but they didn’t have the courage.
    C. They thought of telling everything to Bunny’s parents to help them convince him to change university.

3. What happened to Henry?

    A. He moved to Argentina.
    B. He killed himself.
    C. He was arrested and accused of killing Bunny.

4. The activities developed by some elements of the group were encouraged by their Greek professor. How did he react when he learned the result of those experiences?

    A. He was happy because they yielded the results expected.
    B. He helped them to cover up what happened.
    C. He left the university and never contacted them again.

5. When did they realized the consequences of murdering Bunny?

    A. When the police started to investigate.
    B. When they were at his funeral.
    C. When the body was discovered.

Check the solutions here.

 


 

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Check the website daily to read the highlight of the day.

 


 

Keyword: FAMILY | What are friends for?

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language has a very interesting entry on “friend”. It says that the word “friend” in English came from Old English and Old German meaning “to like”, “to love”, “to set free”, and “peace”. In a way, our ancestors considered someone as a friend as someone who would “set them free” from oppression or imprisonment of some kind. Someone who would provide us with peace.

There are different types of friends. Acquaintances are people with whom one gets along with, in peace, but with whom one has a superficial relationship. The majority of people we know fall in this category. Allies are those with whom we do something, often against other groups of individuals. For example, our business partners or our team colleagues. Then, there are the ones we cherish and trust. Some may say these are true friends or best friends. Finding peace is difficult, as we live in rather competitive and aggressive societies. And there are more chances of finding someone who wants to boss us around than to set us free. Therefore, “true friends” are hard to find, indeed.

Girlfriends and boyfriends are those with whom we have a romantic relationship. Interestingly, in the English language, as in other languages, the difference between “friend” and a romantic partner is very thin. In other languages, like Spanish, the distinction is quite clear (“noivo” and “noiva” are romantically involved whereas “amigo” and “amiga” are not). Does this mean that in some languages speakers see romantic partners as “friends with benefits” or that in other languages they simply need to make the romantic status clearer? Considering the English connection between “friend” and “freedom”, maybe, in the latter case, romantic relationships are seen as more “captivating”.

At this point, it is useful to check what an enemy is: “one that is hostile toward another”. Some synonyms are: opponent, foe, hostile, adversary, antagonist, attacker, rival, competitor. It sounds simple enough. If you bring peace and are likable, you are a friend. If you are hostile and you are against me, you are an enemy. Now, the question is: if someone you cherish and care about is hostile towards you for whatever reason, is that person your enemy or a friend with a temporary dysfunction?

This is where the concept of trust comes in. For example, in war situations, negotiations are extremely difficult because there is no trust between antagonists. If you reach an agreement, you really don’t know if the other side will comply with the duties agreed upon. In friendships, especially the closest ones, the possibility of betrayal can be very high. That is why a betrayal hurts so much: you put your trust in someone and that person uses it against you. A former friend turns into an enemy. On the other hand, a former enemy can also turn into a friend. Once the initial hostility is gone, you may find you can trust that person whom you previously thought was hostile.

The problem in real life is that the line between friend and enemy is not always so clear. For example, in a toxic friendship, you trust a person who is actually doing harm to you. He or she is not exactly an enemy (they can even make you believe they have your best interests at heart), and yet they don’t bring you peace nor set you free. On the other hand, someone may be trying to make you see that you are mistaken about a situation or a person. You regard this person as aggressive, even though he or she is actually trying to set you free.

Friendship doesn’t have a purpose in itself, but can be very useful. Friends can help us face an aggressor or leave a bad situation. They can help us build something or destroy something that is hurting us. They give us hope in desperate situations and give us a hand when we are almost drowning. They make us feel good about ourselves instead of belittling us or pointing out our faults. They help us think instead of telling us what we should do (and then be angry when you don’t follow their advice). They know we are not perfect human beings and that we are going to fail and make mistakes (and they still keep on liking us and trusting us). They don’t expect anything from you, but are the first to get closer when something bad happens.

You can have different friends for different situations. For example, the person that helps you choose your car insurance may not be the same that helps you leave a toxic relationship. A stranger can be crucial in a moment of distress and then you never see him or her again. A childhood friend can give you the appreciation you need to have confidence in yourself throughout your life. Different types of friends for different situations.

The trick to distinguish between friend and foe is to pay attention and keep these concepts in mind. You may be surprised.

 

** YOUR WORDS AND IDEAS **

By Isabella Muir | On 19 April 2025 at 12:51
A thoughtful piece and a reminder that we all need a support network, even if that network is just one or two people who we rarely see, but we know that we can trust them to be good listeners. I reckon that although there are many people who like their personal space, there are few who want to live their lives in total isolation. Hooray for friendship in all its forms!

By Words in Ideas | On 19 April 2025 at 14:15
You are absolutely right! Hooray, indeed! 🙂